Roofing Tales Of Madness...

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Wally J. Corpse
Level Zero: True Jerk
Posts: 1864
Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
Location: Fornicalia

Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

Here to follow, is another excerpt from the hysterical archives, this episode is titled- "Fore!"

There I Was, one fine summer day, circa 1980. My crew was ASsigned to aid one of the company's hot crews on a large apartment building flat re-roof project across the street from Alamo Park, SF.
During set up of gear and equipment, the hot crew foreman was happy to find some golf clubs evidently discarded between stairway penthouse and AC unit. There was a 3 wood, a 7 and a 9 iron. After 1st bong and beer break, we were delighted to find that a reasonable facsimilie of a golf ball could be created from the gooey tar with gravel residue found on the mop cart's wheels, and crew shoe turds.
The foreman, an avid golfer, was impressive in his ability to drive said balls from the roof into the park. His skill was further shone with the 7 iron, even to the point wherein he would announce the zone of ball landing, however, the 9 iron proved to be a wee bit trickier, and once we had to become invisible whence one golfed missile may have impacted a passing taxi, no need to go into that now...
The nexus of the crisis evolved when, one 9 iron shot was a wicked slice, and AS we watched in speechless awe, it veered away and went through the neighbor's kitchen window and came to rest on their table.
This was a cause for alarm, and a scramble to appear innocent. shortly thereafter, we were not entirely surprised to see the usual flashing blues, and, it didnaye take a detective mastermind to figure out the source of said projectile.
AlAS, we were smirkingly admonished for recreational episode, and were forced to use our marching powder fundage to pay for replacement window.
AS a side note, somewhat shortly thereafter, the company got the re-roof job on that building, and the tenant of said unit that got the ball mocked the foreman on a routine basis by yelling- "Fore!"

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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sammy the blade
Posts: 4023
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Location: Indiana

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

I bet your crew loved working for you.
2024 candidate for president
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jim d,
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Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 9:36 pm
Location: Mayberry, N.C. / U.S.A.

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by jim d, »

Sir Wallace, AS always, your post made me chuckle. Thanks for sharing.

Jim
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Wally J. Corpse
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Location: Fornicalia

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Mr. Sammy The Blade-

Over the many years of having crews working for me, they did in fact enjoy their employ, AS I tried to provide a safe, lucrative, and humorous work environment. Out of the ranks of crew, 4 went on to become successful roofing contractors in their own right, 1 became the roofing supervisor for the SF Park and Rec division, 1 was noted AS the craftsman that roofed the complex structures within the Japanese Tea Garden, and another became a foreman for the SF arm of roofing the city's pier buildings. All in all, most of the young rascals that came within mine sphere of influence carried on in some capacity in the realm of roofing.

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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natcherly
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by natcherly »

Wally, you are definitely a mentor and esteemed educator in the arcane roofing arts. That so many of your disciples (including perhaps the "goofball that allowed mine kettle to flash out and self immolate in front of the SF icon, the I-Beam") continued on in pursuit of roofing mastery is a living testament to your skills and talents.

Do you offer on-line course instruction?
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Wally J. Corpse
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Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Mr. Natcherly-

Alas, my only on line offerings are, sarcasm, mockery, and flimsy, transparent alibis...

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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sammy the blade
Posts: 4023
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
Location: Indiana

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

Wally J. Corpse wrote: Thu Jul 01, 2021 3:57 pm Greetings, Mr. Natcherly-

Alas, my only on line offerings are, sarcasm, mockery, and flimsy, transparent alibis...

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Works for me. :twisted:
2024 candidate for president
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whippersnapper
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by whippersnapper »

Sometimes thats what we need.
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