Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Do you want to talk about your beautiful country, family, or dog? Would you like to say where you went on holiday or how you arranged the garden? Are you willing to tell us you girlfriend left you for a(nother) loser? Do you have ANY non knife-related topic you want to discuss? This is the place!

Moderators: Bonzo, Wally J. Corpse, The Motley Crew

Forum rules
There are a few things you should know before posting in these forums. If you are a new user, please click here and read carefully. Thanks a lot!
Post Reply
User avatar
Wally J. Corpse
Level Zero: True Jerk
Posts: 1756
Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
Location: Fornicalia

Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

Here, to follow, is another excerpt from the hysterical archives, this episode is entitled, " Bazooka!"
There I Was, circa 1981, having completed the day's roofing project way early, mine capable crew and eye were back at the shop, awaiting the later in the day paycheck issuance. AS was our wont and methodology, we were bent on securing some type of amusement factor AS we idled.
I was blessed with a cadre of very clever, but mayhaps somewhat dangerous crew Einsteins, and, this is the feeble and transparent plan that came unto reality, to wit: my second man, Hack, came bursting back into the shop, all a-glow at his just now purchase from the toy/hobby shop just around the corner. He had a large bag full of Estes rocket engines, Class D, the bigguns. Aha! says I. Shortly thereafter, we devised a symptom of entertainment wherein we created a bastarditized bazooka out of a length of 2" downspout, we plumber taped some fore and aft handgrips, notched front end for optimistic aimage, and rear portal modified to accept the rocket engines. The team of giggling roofertoids also was exemplary in creating a variety of D engine 'warheads', including a variety of nails, screws, and at mine inflection, a .223 rifle round, all adhered to the front of the engine with quickset epoxy, then, using the skill of thy roofers, the D engine was fitted with three triangular stabilizing fins force fit into the engine's cardboard skin via roofer's knife razor slittage.
Aha! says us! Now we must find a location wherein we can enjoy the fruits of our labor, but also with the logistics for a hasty, anonymous exit, if needed.
Sometime later, we, in a non descript white van, arrived at a location, in SF, across from the Olympic Club, a state park that was overlooking a cliff to the beach below, a popular gathering spot for those folks who like to hang glide.
We set up for the mission, and AS luck would have it, Hack was in possession of one of those skull fitting leather aviator helmets, so he became the bazzokist. I, was the capable launcheteer, and whence ready for send off, I would tap Hack on the head, just like in the Combat show, AS I applied the 9volt battery to the electronic rocket fuse, and, off they went! We were entirely entertained at the success of our endeavors, there was, perhaps, some minor concern when, one of the projectiles, a 16d duplex nail, may or may not have encountered the sails of a surprise hang glider, mayhaps slightly deflating his bouancy, could have been a factor in his spiraling out of sight whilst screaming, no need to go into that now.
There was a lull in festivities, whence the .223 round rocket sailed off magnificently, and, the rocket engine's fore charge, rumored to be the impetus for chute deployment, cracked off offshore. The lethal radius for said round was instantly awared uponst us, and we elected for a casual retreat. We were almost all in the van whence a Park Ranger arrived, and wanted to interrogate us about some nebulous danger complaint, to which we ASsured him that we were innocent mimes...

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Image
sammy the blade
Posts: 3016
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
Location: Indiana

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

Point to the guy on your left.
User avatar
Bonzo
Doofus Emeritus
Posts: 3368
Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:01 pm
Location: Klamath Falls, Oregon Left Coast I can still see Mt. Zoomie from my house!

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Bonzo »

Mr. Corpse,

Hmm..., wonder what could have been accomplished with some red plutonium...

Best regards,

Bonz
Image
"A little rebellion now & then is a good thing"
Thomas Jefferson
sammy the blade
Posts: 3016
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
Location: Indiana

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

Bonzo wrote: Sat May 08, 2021 3:50 pm Mr. Corpse,

Hmm..., wonder what could have been accomplished with some red plutonium...

Best regards,

Bonz
Probably would have burnt of his anal warts..... Maybe not.
Post Reply