Roofing Tales Of Madness...

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Wally J. Corpse
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Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

Here, to follow, is another episode from the hysterical archives, this one is entitled- "Her Toys"-
There I Was, circa 1980's, whence I was directed to perform some roofing repairs on a home just off of Portola, in SF. I arrived with mine capable ASssitant, and, we were directed to the area of roof by the homeowner, a middle aged Asian woman. The only viable access was through her bedroom window onto a small tar and gravel wing roof. AS my cohort, a rather large fellow, began to egress the interior, he lost his balance somewhat, and reflexively tried to recover, but whilst doing so, his foot contacted the owner's bedroom nightstand, resulting in it's tipping over, and the drawer spewed forth it's contents, a veritable treasure trove of self pleasuring devices, commonly labeled "dildos", there was quite an amusing variety of her toys, ranging from multi-ethnic colored fake peckers, some with auxillary methods of battery driven energy vibrating stimulation including the apparent twat and anus motor driven engine, complete with some rather disturbing vials of labelled flavor scented fluids. For a micro second of frozen time, a hush fell over the crowd, but was instantly dispelled by us roofing guys laughing out loud. The owner gal was somewhat embarrassed, and directed us to abandon our efforts.
Sometime later, I happenstance to be driving past that site, and noticed that the roof section was being worked on by a competitor company, and. AS luck would have it, eye happened to know the foreman of that company, who said that the homeowner denied access through the interior, and forced them into a complicated, convoluted exterior mode of ingress.
Just goes to show ya', some folks are sensitive whence their true groinal pleasure seeking methodology of toys are exposed...

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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natcherly
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by natcherly »

Apparently the lady was a serious collector of dildonica. Such devices rarely show up in home display cases, unlike out snappy treasures. :mrgreen:
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

natcherly wrote: Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:58 pm Apparently the lady was a serious collector of dildonica. Such devices rarely show up in home display cases, unlike out snappy treasures. :mrgreen:
You might be surprised.
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jim d,
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by jim d, »

My corresponding tale of wit involves airport TSA security. AS many of you know, prior to COVID, my workweek included air travel, every week. Just before the arrival of TSA Pre-Check I was in the midst of my twice weekly TSA security drill. In front of me was a very petite middle-aged Asian woman. The drill involved opening the carry-on and removing the 1 quart ziplock bag containing liquids, gels, and aerosols. Upon unzipping and opening her carry-on, a large anatomically correct device was visible. I marveled at the size of the device which I estimated to be about 15 inches in length. She finished the drill undaunted and we proceeded to our respective gates. I was amazed at her indifference to the fact that her device was in full view of several people.

Jim
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by john »

It’s amazing the amount of effort and energy and depth of desire of what a person will do to accomplish whatever their passion may be.
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

jim d, wrote: Mon Apr 26, 2021 9:33 pm My corresponding tale of wit involves airport TSA security. AS many of you know, prior to COVID, my workweek included air travel, every week. Just before the arrival of TSA Pre-Check I was in the midst of my twice weekly TSA security drill. In front of me was a very petite middle-aged Asian woman. The drill involved opening the carry-on and removing the 1 quart ziplock bag containing liquids, gels, and aerosols. Upon unzipping and opening her carry-on, a large anatomically correct device was visible. I marveled at the size of the device which I estimated to be about 15 inches in length. She finished the drill undaunted and we proceeded to our respective gates. I was amazed at her indifference to the fact that her device was in full view of several people.

Jim
It must be her traveling companion.
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Bonzo
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Bonzo »

Mr. Corpse,

Was in my hotel room in SF a few years back, and on the local news some gal was interviewing the owner of a smut shop that sported a large display of adult toys. She asked the guy if he considered the toys offensive to women. “Offensive?” he said, “The majority of my customers are women”.

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Wally J. Corpse
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

Herein lies an addendum to my original "Her Toys" tale-
To wit: one of the company's hot crew foreman had just acquired a snappy little Porsche convertible sports car, and he proudly parked it in front of the shop. One of my crew's capable Einsteins had found a flesh tone rubber pecker in the gutter outside the neighboring bar, and, we were amused to find that it fit perfectly into a gap below the front of his car, and it was installed therein, much to our amusement.
Evidently he became the object of passerby attention AS he drove through SF, all the while thinking that the public was raving at his Porsche, he was reveling at the attention! "Twas 2 days later that he accosted us, and rightly deduced wherein his career of mockery began, he was somewhat miffed. Jeepers, some people are so sensitive, didja ever notice that?
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AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

LMFAO
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Bonzo
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Bonzo »

Mr. Corpse,

I’d say that could give a different meaning to a, rear ender...


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natcherly
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by natcherly »

Those things are everywhere...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MLjAR_pxso
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