Roofing Tales Of Madness...
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- Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Roofing Tales Of Madness...
Greetings, Legion Of Fan-
Here, to follow, is another episode from the hysterical archives, this one is entitled- "Her Toys"-
There I Was, circa 1980's, whence I was directed to perform some roofing repairs on a home just off of Portola, in SF. I arrived with mine capable ASssitant, and, we were directed to the area of roof by the homeowner, a middle aged Asian woman. The only viable access was through her bedroom window onto a small tar and gravel wing roof. AS my cohort, a rather large fellow, began to egress the interior, he lost his balance somewhat, and reflexively tried to recover, but whilst doing so, his foot contacted the owner's bedroom nightstand, resulting in it's tipping over, and the drawer spewed forth it's contents, a veritable treasure trove of self pleasuring devices, commonly labeled "dildos", there was quite an amusing variety of her toys, ranging from multi-ethnic colored fake peckers, some with auxillary methods of battery driven energy vibrating stimulation including the apparent twat and anus motor driven engine, complete with some rather disturbing vials of labelled flavor scented fluids. For a micro second of frozen time, a hush fell over the crowd, but was instantly dispelled by us roofing guys laughing out loud. The owner gal was somewhat embarrassed, and directed us to abandon our efforts.
Sometime later, I happenstance to be driving past that site, and noticed that the roof section was being worked on by a competitor company, and. AS luck would have it, eye happened to know the foreman of that company, who said that the homeowner denied access through the interior, and forced them into a complicated, convoluted exterior mode of ingress.
Just goes to show ya', some folks are sensitive whence their true groinal pleasure seeking methodology of toys are exposed...
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Here, to follow, is another episode from the hysterical archives, this one is entitled- "Her Toys"-
There I Was, circa 1980's, whence I was directed to perform some roofing repairs on a home just off of Portola, in SF. I arrived with mine capable ASssitant, and, we were directed to the area of roof by the homeowner, a middle aged Asian woman. The only viable access was through her bedroom window onto a small tar and gravel wing roof. AS my cohort, a rather large fellow, began to egress the interior, he lost his balance somewhat, and reflexively tried to recover, but whilst doing so, his foot contacted the owner's bedroom nightstand, resulting in it's tipping over, and the drawer spewed forth it's contents, a veritable treasure trove of self pleasuring devices, commonly labeled "dildos", there was quite an amusing variety of her toys, ranging from multi-ethnic colored fake peckers, some with auxillary methods of battery driven energy vibrating stimulation including the apparent twat and anus motor driven engine, complete with some rather disturbing vials of labelled flavor scented fluids. For a micro second of frozen time, a hush fell over the crowd, but was instantly dispelled by us roofing guys laughing out loud. The owner gal was somewhat embarrassed, and directed us to abandon our efforts.
Sometime later, I happenstance to be driving past that site, and noticed that the roof section was being worked on by a competitor company, and. AS luck would have it, eye happened to know the foreman of that company, who said that the homeowner denied access through the interior, and forced them into a complicated, convoluted exterior mode of ingress.
Just goes to show ya', some folks are sensitive whence their true groinal pleasure seeking methodology of toys are exposed...
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
- natcherly
- Connoisseur dei Coltelli
- Posts: 6340
- Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 3:59 pm
- Location: Baghdad by the Bay
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...
Apparently the lady was a serious collector of dildonica. Such devices rarely show up in home display cases, unlike out snappy treasures.
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- Posts: 4038
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
- Location: Indiana
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...
My corresponding tale of wit involves airport TSA security. AS many of you know, prior to COVID, my workweek included air travel, every week. Just before the arrival of TSA Pre-Check I was in the midst of my twice weekly TSA security drill. In front of me was a very petite middle-aged Asian woman. The drill involved opening the carry-on and removing the 1 quart ziplock bag containing liquids, gels, and aerosols. Upon unzipping and opening her carry-on, a large anatomically correct device was visible. I marveled at the size of the device which I estimated to be about 15 inches in length. She finished the drill undaunted and we proceeded to our respective gates. I was amazed at her indifference to the fact that her device was in full view of several people.
Jim
Jim
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...
It’s amazing the amount of effort and energy and depth of desire of what a person will do to accomplish whatever their passion may be.
Your friend on the web's most friendly community on knives and blades,
John
Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
John
Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
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- Posts: 4038
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- Location: Indiana
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...
It must be her traveling companion.jim d, wrote: ↑Mon Apr 26, 2021 9:33 pm My corresponding tale of wit involves airport TSA security. AS many of you know, prior to COVID, my workweek included air travel, every week. Just before the arrival of TSA Pre-Check I was in the midst of my twice weekly TSA security drill. In front of me was a very petite middle-aged Asian woman. The drill involved opening the carry-on and removing the 1 quart ziplock bag containing liquids, gels, and aerosols. Upon unzipping and opening her carry-on, a large anatomically correct device was visible. I marveled at the size of the device which I estimated to be about 15 inches in length. She finished the drill undaunted and we proceeded to our respective gates. I was amazed at her indifference to the fact that her device was in full view of several people.
Jim
2024 candidate for president
- Bonzo
- Doofus Emeritus
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- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:01 pm
- Location: Klamath Falls, Oregon Left Coast I can still see Mt. Zoomie from my house!
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...
Mr. Corpse,
Was in my hotel room in SF a few years back, and on the local news some gal was interviewing the owner of a smut shop that sported a large display of adult toys. She asked the guy if he considered the toys offensive to women. “Offensive?” he said, “The majority of my customers are women”.
Best regards,
Bonz
Was in my hotel room in SF a few years back, and on the local news some gal was interviewing the owner of a smut shop that sported a large display of adult toys. She asked the guy if he considered the toys offensive to women. “Offensive?” he said, “The majority of my customers are women”.
Best regards,
Bonz
"A little rebellion now & then is a good thing"
Thomas Jefferson
- Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...
Greetings, Legion Of Fan-
Herein lies an addendum to my original "Her Toys" tale-
To wit: one of the company's hot crew foreman had just acquired a snappy little Porsche convertible sports car, and he proudly parked it in front of the shop. One of my crew's capable Einsteins had found a flesh tone rubber pecker in the gutter outside the neighboring bar, and, we were amused to find that it fit perfectly into a gap below the front of his car, and it was installed therein, much to our amusement.
Evidently he became the object of passerby attention AS he drove through SF, all the while thinking that the public was raving at his Porsche, he was reveling at the attention! "Twas 2 days later that he accosted us, and rightly deduced wherein his career of mockery began, he was somewhat miffed. Jeepers, some people are so sensitive, didja ever notice that?
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Herein lies an addendum to my original "Her Toys" tale-
To wit: one of the company's hot crew foreman had just acquired a snappy little Porsche convertible sports car, and he proudly parked it in front of the shop. One of my crew's capable Einsteins had found a flesh tone rubber pecker in the gutter outside the neighboring bar, and, we were amused to find that it fit perfectly into a gap below the front of his car, and it was installed therein, much to our amusement.
Evidently he became the object of passerby attention AS he drove through SF, all the while thinking that the public was raving at his Porsche, he was reveling at the attention! "Twas 2 days later that he accosted us, and rightly deduced wherein his career of mockery began, he was somewhat miffed. Jeepers, some people are so sensitive, didja ever notice that?
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
-
- Posts: 4038
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
- Location: Indiana
- Bonzo
- Doofus Emeritus
- Posts: 3419
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:01 pm
- Location: Klamath Falls, Oregon Left Coast I can still see Mt. Zoomie from my house!
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...
Mr. Corpse,
I’d say that could give a different meaning to a, rear ender...
Best regards,
Bonz
I’d say that could give a different meaning to a, rear ender...
Best regards,
Bonz
"A little rebellion now & then is a good thing"
Thomas Jefferson