Roofing Tales Of Madness-

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Wally J. Corpse
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Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

Please find, to follow, another episode, this one is titled- "Flash!".
There I was, one fine summer day, circa early 1980s. We had completed our roof project early, and went into the shop. when I went into the office, the secretary blurted- " Ivan's truck blew up!" Allright says eye! Getting the address, off we went to spectate.
The roof job was on Greenwich Street on flat ground near the Presidio. It was a typical 3 story apartment re-roof with multiple interior lightwells. Anyways, the foreman Ivan, was super prolific in his ability to swing the big mop, and used hot at a brisk rate of production. The kettleman, a newbie, was charged with the simple duty of feeding asphalt plugs into the kettle to keep up with demand from above, AS well AS drawing buckets of hot from the spigot to supply the lightwell roofers. Due to a lapse in concentration the kettleman didnaye feed the kettle on a timely basis, and imagine his surprise when, whilst drawing a spigot bucket, it flashed and burst into flames! His terrified reaction was to run away. Meanwhile, the flaming asphalt overfilled the bucket, and began to run down the street curb gutter on fire, igniting the tires of several parked cars. The outside of the kettle was covered in asphalt residue, and also caught fire. The rubber propane feed line began to burn like a fuse, and travelled towards the outside auxillary propane tank, when it burned up to the tank aperature, it sent a jet of flame across the sidewalk and began to immolate the garage door. The crew, who were busy at the rear of the roof, became aware of the disaster, and my ol' pal Bruce, ran to the front of the roof, and in an act of heroism, slid down the derrick rope like Tarzan, and shut off the inter tank feed line between the littler flaming bomb and the giant 500 gallon main bomb. Later he stated that his motivation was to save his new pants and cash within the truck cab.
AS the scenario unfolded, the jet of flame against the garage door melted the aluminum panels to the extent that the cars within began to smoulder AS well, and also caught a fire.
So then, there were flaming cars, flaming building, and a fugitive culprit, all amusing to me. We arrived just in time to see the main fire marshall guy outpace the companies owner in a footrace to seal the kettle control box with an evidence lock, thereby negating the roofing company owner's feeble attempt to blame the mechanism.
This conflaguration was chronicled in a coffee table book of San Francisco's greatest fires.

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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sammy the blade
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by sammy the blade »

Glad I didn't go into the roofing business.
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whippersnapper
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by whippersnapper »

And the culprit was last seen running away singing "Hot time in the old town tonight".
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natcherly
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by natcherly »

What a great story! The imagery is fantastic. Would love to get that book.
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Wally J. Corpse
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Mr. Whippersnapper-

The fugitive culprit was apprehended later, hiding in a tear soaked stairway down the street. Ivan rejected him from his crew, and he was transferred to the other hot crew, and had another incident, to wit: due to a freakish timing occurrence, he jumped off the bed of the hot truck, and landed on the handle of a gravel scraper steel broom, snapping the handle into a sharp spear, which he self impaled upon, stabbing a good 4 " into his side. He gave himself the toilet paper/duct tape bandage, and continued on AS though no one would notice, right up until the building owner complained to the foreman about fresh bloody footprints on his entry way.
He did have to go to the ER, and was diagnosed AS extremely fortunate to have only muscular wall damage, and after being rejected by the 2nd foreman, I took him on my crew where he performed well under close supervision, AS he impressed me with his intestinal fortitude, and later became the disposable assistant in my "Baboon in a Cage" episode.

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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whippersnapper
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by whippersnapper »

I foresee a tragic ending or the making of a tough as nails roofing mogul.
sammy the blade
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by sammy the blade »

I want to hear about the baboon Inna cage episode.
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Wally J. Corpse
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Mr. Sammy The Blade-

Search Off Topic hysterical archives for the WJC There I Was, Episode whatever chronicle of ape adventure.

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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Bonzo
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Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness-

Post by Bonzo »

Mr. Corpse,

Amazing how the trade was so attractive to the Einstein wannabe's, eh! One time I was spending the day detailing and painting some flat roofs we did in Stockton. My Einstein helper was driving that day, and managed to drop a full 5 gallon bucket of black jack on Hammer Ln, one of the busiest streets. So, he stops the truck and I run after the bucket which is rolling with great speed when it curved into oncoming traffic and was hit by multiple cars, with gobs of black jack flying in the air and splattering on the speeding cars and street. The last I saw of the bucket, it was wedged under a school bus going down the street sending out a shower of sparks and making no effort to slow down. Looking at the initial point of impact, I noticed there was no trace of the incident, and nobody even stopped to look at their cars. So, we grabbed a 12 pack of Coors and headed back to Modesto...

Best regards,

Bonz
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"A little rebellion now & then is a good thing"
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