Things i learned from the dog.

missaman · Post by **missaman** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 12:44 am

1. There is always a bigger dog.
2. Its easy to be brave when your on your side of the fence.
3. If your hungry eat, if there is no food ,whine alot and somebody will feed you.
4. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
5. There is a god and he is easily pissed off.
6. Guarding your masters property is "job one"
7. Love thy neighbor unless god says BITE his ass.
8. Don't get on the furniture, see no. 5.
9. Lick yourself because you can..
10. Don't steal pizza off the table, see no. 5

PLEASE feel free to add your own...
Missaman

mrbigg · Post by **mrbigg** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 1:55 am

LOL! good one mr missaman!

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 3:50 am

Everytime master does something new or different act like it's the most amazing thing you've ever seen.
If master seems angry at a stranger, growl at the jerk to back him up.
If someone you've never seen before enters the property growl and bark,
you can always be friends later.
If you do something and master rewards you, try to do it again when in the same situation.

Post by **tr4252** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 4:17 am

When I was 4 or 5, another kid dared me to eat some dog food. Now I know why dogs lick their balls.
To get rid of the taste of the dog food.
TR

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 4:32 am

tr4252 wrote:When I was 4 or 5, another kid dared me to eat some dog food. Now I know why dogs lick their balls.
To get rid of the taste of the dog food.
TR

LOL

Fritz · Post by **Fritz** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 4:42 am

The reason a dog has so many friends:
He wags his tail instead of his tongue.

Plastered Bastard · Post by **Plastered Bastard** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 3:46 am

Vagrant wrote...

Everytime master does something new or different act like it's the most amazing thing you've ever seen.
If master seems angry at a stranger, growl at the jerk to back him up.
If someone you've never seen before enters the property growl and bark,
you can always be friends later.
If you do something and master rewards you, try to do it again when in the same situation.

Vagrant,
Sounds like you've trained a dog or two? I prefer mutts, myself. They seem to be extra loyal for the fact that you took 'um.
The Yellow Lab is my favorite pedigree. Great personalities.

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 4:48 am

I prefer Arctic types [no kidding look where I live] mixed or pure is not a major factor, just at least some Husky, Malmute, Samoyed, whatever.
The smartest dog I ever owned [or ever knew] was a Samoyed. He had almost primate level intelligence. He learned to unhook a leash so well I had to make one that required an opposing thumb to work. I had him on a cable run with a leash dropper. He could unhook the leash in the time it took me to walk up three steps to the house .

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 4:50 am

"Sounds like you've trained a dog or two?"
Or they have trained me VERY well, but I observed how they did it.

Bonzo · Post by **Bonzo** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 6:47 pm

tr4252 wrote:When I was 4 or 5, another kid dared me to eat some dog food. Now I know why dogs lick their balls.
To get rid of the taste of the dog food.
TR

Mr. Tr,

Thats why I had my dog neutered. I was afraid the Zoomies would eat his dog food and want to lick his balls.

Best Regard's,

Bonz

Post by **tr4252** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:54 pm

sammy da blade · Post by **sammy da blade** » Wed Sep 24, 2003 5:32 am

what i learned form my big bubba dog is unconditional loyality and love! what big bubba dog learned from me was, i should have quit humping his leg, i may have kept my balls!

Plastered Bastard · Post by **Plastered Bastard** » Wed Sep 24, 2003 6:47 am

Vagrant wrote...

The smartest dog I ever owned [or ever knew] was a Samoyed. He had almost primate level intelligence. He learned to unhook a leash so well I had to make one that required an opposing thumb to work. I had him on a cable run with a leash dropper. He could unhook the leash in the time it took me to walk up three steps to the house .

I've always thought dogs are the smartest animals next to humans...sometimes smarter . They have the closest to human emotions in my opinion.

I had a yellow Lab that was the best ball player (catcher) I'd ever seen...human or animal. I could lob a tennis ball hundreds of yards in the air and that dog would zero in and catch it everytime with a nice *pop* in the muzzle. That dog was relentless...it never got tired of playing ball. Damn, I miss that dog.

Greyblade · Post by **Greyblade** » Wed Sep 24, 2003 12:00 pm

What should you do when a pit bull is humping your leg?

Fake an orgasm.

Oh yeah, Fido,
Greyblade

mrbigg · Post by **mrbigg** » Wed Sep 24, 2003 2:35 pm

Greyblade wrote:What should you do when a pit bull is humping your leg?

Fake an orgasm.

Oh yeah, Fido,
Greyblade

but do it carefully

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