There I Was- IV

[Wally J. Corpse]

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

There I was, one fine sunny summer day, circo 1979, enjoying a free Jefferson Starship concert at Mark's Meadows, Golden Gate Park, S.F..
Just when the white knight started talking backwards, I noticed before me, a dancing hippe chick wearing too short jean cut-offs. Oh man, the perfect half round swells of a tight youthful buttocks were a peeking out from under and a swaying enticingly before me. I knew I must have my way with this lass, so, I went up and applied the ol' WJC charms to her. She was even good looking from the front. Helping her to fall under my spell was the quick administration of free dangerous narcotic stimulants. AS usual, this time proven ploy worked, and within two hours I was riding her like a rodeo clown from behind upon her floor mattress in her mid-Haight hovel. Unfortuneately, AS is often the case with this type of 'Hey baby, take this, spread 'em, and I'm done now-goodbye' type of romances, sometimes you can't get rid of 'em. She followed me home, was pleased to meet the rest of the roofing degenerates, and begged to be allowed to jam with us in our nightly front stoop acoustic guitar fest. However, we were suprised and horrified to find out that her instrument was the violin, and her skill at playing it was so sub-par AS to be nauseating. Man, it sounded like the noise of a cat in a blender, with the upper octave shrieks of a thousand Harpies thrown in, the cacaphony was so intense AS to make your gorge rise, and make you want to fill your ears with epoxy.
Whew, luckily she lost interest in playing after we all ran away sobbing.
However, imagine my suprise and horror to see her waiting for me on the steps when I came home from work. Weakly, I couldn'a resist the halter top, and had to do her again, thus encouraging her next move, to announce that she had real deep emotional feelings for me, and wished to spend the night, every night, under me in my house. Aw s**t! Fearing for my future sanity, I immediately introduced her to my disposable assistant, Zipperhead, and squeezed myself outa the small bathroom window so AS to flee.
Well, it kinda backfired, AS I was flummoxed to see she had gained instant slutworthy popularity with the roofers, and became a daily fixture. At least she was being attended to by others, and often did not see me slip by in my disguise.
She then lost interest in maintaining her figure, bloated up, and gave Zipperhead his first nether region rash. Somewhat amused by this turn of events, I changed her name from Michelle to- V.D., which she did not entirely appreciate, but resisted my pleas for her to disappear.
She brought her psychotic feline over one day, a shorthaired white female with the propensity to toothfully remove it's own fur at the tail and ass region, resulting in a scabby pink hindquarters. AS repulsed AS I was over this, it did not prevent me from entering her in the hallway cat boxing tournament. My ol' pal held up 'our' cat, Secret, a large black, mellow tomcat, and I held up V.D.'s thing. At the start of the first round, Secret waded right in, powerfully slapping and clawing away on the white cat's head, the referee called it a T.K.O., and AS all losers were summarily banished, out the front twindow it went, just in time to be noticed by V.D., who was coming back from the free clinic. That put her over the edge, and she threatened to leave forever, which to a man we all responded- 'Good!'. She did, thus ending the episode, except for Zipperhead, who was reminded of her for another two weeks until condition cleared up.

The lesson learned here was thus- 'Desperate men take desperate measures'.

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

[stepdaddy]

Jefferson Starship

Back in 79 weren't they still Jerrerson Airplane? Thought they hit starship status in the 80's but could be wrong.



SD