Roofing Tales Of Madness...

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Wally J. Corpse
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Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

Brace thyself for another tale, this episode is entitled "Grub Burger".
There I Was, circa 1981, AS usual, on duty AS the best of the west roofing crew. Now then, in our transits throughout SF, we had routine routes made, called "passes", wherein we would travel about, looking for the never ending amusement of the SF human oddities. The most prevalent pass, was of course, the Haight Street pass, oft done more than once a day, ever vigilant to observe those flamboyant flagrant characters, and voluntary launched grape projectile acceptors, another was the Union Street pass, hoping to startle the high heeled assistant assistant secretary into stumbling after the "show us your tits!" bellow, and another was the Dyke hollow pass, upper Noe Valley on 24 th st. above the fag castro enclave. Anyways, we had a favorite spot for post beer/bong break luncheon, Herb's Fine Foods right on 24th st..We routinely ordered and enjoyed his special creation- the 'Grub Burger', consisting of a sandwich sized toasted English muffin, a cheeseburger, a fried egg, bacon, and fried onions atop, a noteworthy flavor sensual overload experience. AS usual, eye pulled the shingle truck with the broilingly smoking 350 gal. kettle into the bus stop right in front of Herb's, and sent in Hack with our cash, to acquire the crew's Grub Burgers. Now then, Hack, having much earlier that morn, had been ROR'd, and was a-starving. He began to gag down his unit, and, during his exit, his tar and gravel shoe caught upon an unauthorized sidewalk elevation change, causing him to unexpectedly power swallow a grub chunk, resulting in surprise choking. However, AS is well known in the history of roofers, we are expert at honking up to expel, which he did, however, imagine the surprise of the he/she/it thing whence projectile fragment landed with an adhesive roofer's spit soaked splat onto it's cleavage! It was somewhat displeased with the event, and attempted to en-slap Hack with a roundhouse, which he adroitly sidestepped, causing it's momentum to accelerate it into a full concrete face plant, thereby exposing it's soiled granny underpants and scrotum. All of this in full view of us in the truck cab, man, we roared at that one! Upon immediate depature, AS a token of respect, eye double clutched the truck, sending a superheated hot asphalt flavored cloud to envelope it, amidst our hearty chuckles. Next time we stopped at Herb's, he informed us that it had come in to complain about his clientele, but we got free fries!
The moral of the story is thus: if'n you are choosing to be a f***ing weirdo, the roofers will find you AS a source of ridicculi and projectile targeting...

AS ever,
Your ol' pal',
Wally J. Corpse
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sammy the blade
Posts: 4023
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
Location: Indiana

Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness...

Post by sammy the blade »

Good one, keep them coming!
2024 candidate for president
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