Do not read if you love cats

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worlds oldest roofer
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Joined: Tue Apr 23, 2019 9:17 pm
Location: The other Woodstock

Do not read if you love cats

Post by worlds oldest roofer »

Now I Don't mind cats;some are great but my ex-wife had one that was just Nasty! One day I watched this cat walk over to a heat vent in the floor and just stand there and piss. New furnace and ductwork were only afew years old so when I inspected the other floor ducts I see there all rusted out.
Seems cat pee is like muritatic acid to galvanized metal.Cat is on my shitlist.Fast forward afew years and ex,her Mom and 2 sisters head for the Bahamas for a weeks vacation leaving me to my own devices so of course after work I can go have afew without repercussions.Get home and crash on the couch.
Now its midnite and here comes the cat catterwallin' that cat in heat sound so it wants to go out.I get up to let it out and it runs the other way. Back to the couch;I need some shut-eye but NOOOO!1am here comes the cat,I get up again-cat runs the other way.This happened 4 or 5 times so I went and got my Marlin Octagon barrel 22 and laid it next to the couch.I gave the cat fair warning that the next time It's over.Cat did not listen-one shot in the middle of the living room floor and some sleep.Put it in a box next morning, took it to work and in the dumpster it went.No mess on the carpet somehow so now
afew days later home comes the ex! After the obligatory peck on the cheek and coddlin the other GOOD cat it's where is ( lets call it Fluffy) I don't know,I let It out this morning I say-Lying thru my teeth! The minutes seemed like hours as she sat next to me watching TV and getting up every 2 minutes to call the cat.Finally she gets up,walks over to the TV,licks her finger and rubs a spot on the screen; That's blood-wheres my cat? I caved-I shot the dam thing I say! Spent the next 3 weeks living on my boat at local marina till she figured out that she didn't know how to mow the lawn! Short time later the divorce papers read; Drinks to excess, Is verbally abusive,Shot the family pet in the living room!
For You Cat lovers who couldn't help yourself Sorry! World's Oldest Roofer
sammy the blade
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Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
Location: Indiana

Re: Do not read if you love cats

Post by sammy the blade »

I don't particularly like cats but, I probably would have shot it too.
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natcherly
Connoisseur dei Coltelli
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Re: Do not read if you love cats

Post by natcherly »

Mr. worlds oldest roofer,

I am at a loss to understand the motivation behind your post.
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Wally J. Corpse
Level Zero: True Jerk
Posts: 1864
Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
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Re: Do not read if you love cats

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Mr. World's Oldest Roofer-

I have to concur with Mr. Natcherly's statement. Whilst cats, ( eye call them flatheads), can be annoying in their smug indifference, they also provide some comfort and amusement to some of their owners, who may resent your actions AS callous, and weak, having been outwitted and driven to a fatal extreme, and must have deeply hurt/offended your her. You are fortunate that your expended bullet didnaye damage your beloved TV or continue through feline to inflict damages upon others, or give away your position to LEOs who may not see your frustrations AS just for indoor firearm discharge, potentially miring you in a legal morass. Clearly you did not do proper preliminary research prior to trigger fingering. If'n you had merely asked for advice from the inmates herein, I would have refered you to the WJC 'Cats In Space' program, explained in the archives of site, and you would have been illuminated into other alternatives to cat management...

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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Bonzo
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Re: Do not read if you love cats

Post by Bonzo »

Mr. Worlds Oldest Roofer,

As a youngster, our neighbor across the street had at least 20 to 30 cats on hand at any given time. Our house had a flat roof with a small parapet which allowed great shoot and hide concealment, as I was well armed with my Crossman pellet rifle. Great fun watching how high they can jump when you shoot'em in the arse. I too had a few incidents with my ex and her cat(s). Seemed like whenever she went out of town for a few days, a cat would magically vanish. When we finally split up for good, she took the best cat and left me with the 2 lesser felines. One was a good mouser and never came in the house. It earned its keep. The other hated me and would shit by my truck door. The last time I stepped in it, Ruger and I sent it to cat hell.
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Best regards,

Bonz
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"A little rebellion now & then is a good thing"
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Tom19176
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Re: Do not read if you love cats

Post by Tom19176 »

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Killing a cat in your house is NOT cool......
sammy the blade
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Re: Do not read if you love cats

Post by sammy the blade »

Poor dog.
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