I'm bored..here's a joke.

666 · Post by **666** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:26 pm

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say:

"Emma come first...denna I come.....two asses, they come together...I come again....two asses, they come together again.. I come again and pee twice...denna I come once-amore."

The lady yells: "You fowl mouthed swine...in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public."

"HEY..coola down lady." the man said, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spell Mississippi."

J-man · Post by **J-man** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:34 pm

LMAO!

Heres one y'all might find funny:

Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they
made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well,
after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would
break him out of this crazy habit. One night, while they were in then, middle
of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked
down ... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure
device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one, She went
completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him. "How
could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly: "I'll explain
the toy ... you explain the kids"

blackjack · Post by **blackjack** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 2:35 am

Great jokes guys, both of them, if I were a man of better humor I'd leave one myself, unfortunately Im not.
Take Care
blackjack

BennytheBlade · Post by **BennytheBlade** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 4:16 am

I hang out at my bike mechanics shop and he tells me a few new ones every time i go in.

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its 'heart', take valves out, fix'em, put'em back in; and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a measly salary and you get the really big bucks when you and I are doing basically the same kind of work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it with the engine running."

FivePointOh · Post by **FivePointOh** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 1:38 pm

Hahaha, that reminds me of a biker joke.

A bunch of bikers were sitting around drinking beer and swapping stories. The subject of pain and getting hurt came up. The bikers took turns telling stories of the worst pain they have encountered. After several stories of fights, stabbings and accidents a rather quite guy started telling his story.

"I was riding down this country road one day and I had to take a dump. So I pulled over to the side of the road and walked behind a tree. As I dropped my pants and squatted a bear trap clamped onto my balls."

The room clamored with the sound of pain and agony.

"Oh my God, thats gotta be the worst!" Little Joe said.

"Nope", the quite one retorted, "It was when the slack in the chain ran out!"

Great jokes, keep 'em coming.

The Falcon · Post by **The Falcon** » Sat Jun 28, 2003 6:31 am

LOL! Great jokes guys!

I copied them and sent them out to a bunch of non-knife people, so they'll be all over the world by Monday.

The Falcon

daddyloko · Post by **daddyloko** » Sun Jun 29, 2003 4:42 am

Here's one;
A little boy and his mom are setting at the breakfast table and the boy ask his mom "How come people eat lights?" The mom looks at him confused and replies "Don't be silly, people don't eat lights!" The son then replied "Then why did Daddy tell the Babysitter to turn out the light and he'd eat it?"

BennytheBlade · Post by **BennytheBlade** » Mon Jun 30, 2003 2:29 am

this is just a cut and paste job... but i think its pretty damn funny:
Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven".
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Oh, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

There is too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
It chatters constantly at high speeds.
Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust, and finally,
The maintenance costs are outrageous."
"Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention then yours".

J-man · Post by **J-man** » Mon Jun 30, 2003 4:17 am

abe suarez wrote:Here's one;
A little boy and his mom are setting at the breakfast table and the boy ask his mom "How come people eat lights?" The mom looks at him confused and replies "Don't be silly, people don't eat lights!" The son then replied "Then why did Daddy tell the Babysitter to turn out the light and he'd eat it?"

Here's one thats a little like that. A little boy walks in on his parents while there in bed, and the little boy asks "Mommy why did you get mad at me when I was sucking my thumb?"

Greyblade · Post by **Greyblade** » Mon Jun 30, 2003 3:24 pm

Two Canuckians are walking down the street together when they see a dog sitting on the sidewalk, licking his provate parts. One Canukian says to the other, "Boy, I wish I could do that!"

The other Canuckian says,"Pat him on the head and maybe he'll let you."

Greyblade

J-man · Post by **J-man** » Mon Jun 30, 2003 3:44 pm

Greyblade wrote:Two Canuckians are walking down the street together when they see a dog sitting on the sidewalk, licking his provate parts. One Canukian says to the other, "Boy, I wish I could do that!"

The other Canuckian says,"Pat him on the head and maybe he'll let you."

Greyblade

LOL!

daddyloko · Post by **daddyloko** » Mon Jun 30, 2003 4:08 pm

Greyblade that was funny. I'm gonna have to remember that one.LOL

Razor_54 · Post by **Razor_54** » Sat Aug 09, 2003 12:09 pm

Here's one for you Lone Ranger fans.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got
their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto
wakes The Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabi, look towards sky, what you
see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo. Time
wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are
small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a
beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabi, you dumb ass.
Someone has stolen tent."

Teddy · Post by **Teddy** » Sat Aug 09, 2003 1:28 pm

That made me laugh out loud! .... STILL chucklin' as I write this.....

All the best
Teddy