What to Make of This?
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- natcherly
- Connoisseur dei Coltelli
- Posts: 6336
- Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 3:59 pm
- Location: Baghdad by the Bay
What to Make of This?
10 days ago, a member of this forum, who shall remain nameless, sent me an unsolicited PM asking if I had any manual stilettos I wanted to sell. I responded the same day with a short list and some pictures. He wrote back the next day and made an offer on one of them, which I accepted. After trading PM's on shipping, as he does not live in the US, he ceased all communication. After several days I sent a PM asking for the status of this transaction at his end. It was ignored. I know he got it as it left my outgoing box. Additionally, I could see that the date and time he was last active coincided with it leaving my outbox. Nothing. After more than a week I PM'ed him again and asked him to tell me what had happened. Still nothing, but interestingly, he then became "incognito" so it is no longer possible to see when he is on the forum or last visited.
If someone makes a commitment, I would think that common courtesy dictates either fulfilling that commitment or at least advising why it could not be honored. We all understand that things do happen in our lives that change circumstances. Maybe he found the knife at a lower price. Fine, just tell me. IMO, the poor communication in the case indicates someone who has a low maturity level.
I am glad I didn't send the knife before being paid via PayPal (the payment method he suggested). I often ship in advance of receiving good funds as I trust that members here would not rip me off. Dodged a bullet on that one, methinks.
I would be interested in any insights others may have on this situation.
If someone makes a commitment, I would think that common courtesy dictates either fulfilling that commitment or at least advising why it could not be honored. We all understand that things do happen in our lives that change circumstances. Maybe he found the knife at a lower price. Fine, just tell me. IMO, the poor communication in the case indicates someone who has a low maturity level.
I am glad I didn't send the knife before being paid via PayPal (the payment method he suggested). I often ship in advance of receiving good funds as I trust that members here would not rip me off. Dodged a bullet on that one, methinks.
I would be interested in any insights others may have on this situation.
- JimBrown257
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:50 am
- Location: Michigan
Re: What to Make of This?
He just changed his mind for whatever reason (probably found another one in his own country, if I had to guess). It's annoying, it's rude, but it's not all that uncommon when trying to trade with a non-regular. It seems like about 30% of the time I start a deal with a non-poster, it falls through and about half of that time it happens with the person just disappearing without a word. Maybe they feel bad about having you take pics and everything.
I wouldn't put too much thought into it. And I've never even heard of anyone having a problem with a regular so I wouldn't change any of my policies over it.
I wouldn't put too much thought into it. And I've never even heard of anyone having a problem with a regular so I wouldn't change any of my policies over it.
Re: What to Make of This?
maybe his wife found out about the transaction and just ''BITCH SLAPPED THE SHIT OUTTA HIM'' ???
-
- Posts: 1065
- Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2006 11:07 pm
- Location: Ohio
Re: What to Make of This?
He should have at least replied and made his intentions known to you though.
I used to get involved in a lot more deals through these forums than I do now simply because of crap like that. Was a time that I used to go way out of my way to try help people get what they were looking for but so many times things became so overly complicated usually due to someone's lack of communication that I gave up with a lot of the involvement.
As someone else said, good luck with it but I wouldn't give it too much more thought. At least it doesn't sound like you are out anything but a little time and a little aggravation.
Might be better off that you didn't get further involved in trying to deal with this person.
I used to get involved in a lot more deals through these forums than I do now simply because of crap like that. Was a time that I used to go way out of my way to try help people get what they were looking for but so many times things became so overly complicated usually due to someone's lack of communication that I gave up with a lot of the involvement.
As someone else said, good luck with it but I wouldn't give it too much more thought. At least it doesn't sound like you are out anything but a little time and a little aggravation.
Might be better off that you didn't get further involved in trying to deal with this person.
SNAP, SNAP, SNAP!!
Re: What to Make of This?
If it was a well known member I would consider making a transaction but a person with a low participation count regardless of years as a member I'm thinking red flag.
In many cases a man's good nature can be his curse, I know this first hand. In fact my generosity was a weakness until one day I decided I was through being taken advantage of.
I see this as a simple case of a very wise man nipping an otherwise unpleasant situation in the bud.
Common sense is one thing.... that "gut feeling" is another.
In many cases a man's good nature can be his curse, I know this first hand. In fact my generosity was a weakness until one day I decided I was through being taken advantage of.
I see this as a simple case of a very wise man nipping an otherwise unpleasant situation in the bud.
Common sense is one thing.... that "gut feeling" is another.
- whippersnapper
- Posts: 8355
- Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 12:39 pm
- Location: Michigan
Re: What to Make of This?
All it would have taken was a quick pm saying I changed my mind or my situation has changed and I can no longer make the deal. No shame in that. Instead, the person buried their head and pretends to disappear....
They have probably did you a favor, natch, because they are obviously immature and probably shouldn't own anything pointy in the first place.
Natcherly didn't mention the guys name, but a 2 second look through the most recent buy/sell posts will probably give a good clue to who this person most likely is. I know who I will never waste my time with in the future.
They have probably did you a favor, natch, because they are obviously immature and probably shouldn't own anything pointy in the first place.
Natcherly didn't mention the guys name, but a 2 second look through the most recent buy/sell posts will probably give a good clue to who this person most likely is. I know who I will never waste my time with in the future.
- ILikeStilettos
- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:36 pm
- Location: Norman, Oklahoma, USA
- Contact:
Re: What to Make of This?
Sorry, Dave. Most of us are decent, but there's always a few rotten apples. I like the doormat that says "Beware of dog ... also the cat is shady as f**k, too."
Dave Sause
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690
"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"
"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690
"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"
"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
Re: What to Make of This?
Yeah Dave I'd say ya got off light,better it went south before ya sent out your knife.they say no good deed goes unpunished..
- ILikeStilettos
- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:36 pm
- Location: Norman, Oklahoma, USA
- Contact:
Re: What to Make of This?
Yeah, for example this loser in Youngstown keeps bugging me ...lance wrote:Yeah Dave I'd say ya got off light,better it went south before ya sent out your knife.they say no good deed goes unpunished..
Dave Sause
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690
"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"
"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690
"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"
"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
Re: What to Make of This?
The guy also wrote to me asking me about manual knives. I responded to him. I told him that I wanted to know what he wanted to spend because I wasn't going to take the time to make a list or take photos and send until I felt that he was serious about wanting to pursue the transaction. I have never heard another word from the guy and am glad that I wrote what I wrote.