Cover story

missaman · Post by **missaman** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:08 am

Mr. Vagrent,
I got my ass whipped by my 10 year old daughter Saturday. In a game of tickle the daughter, Karen managed to head butt her ol' dad and give him one hellava shiner

Please give me your suggestion of a plausible explanation to use at work so I do not have to tell everybody what really happened...
Jumped by a gang of bikers,Jealous husband???
You should see the other guy...
Missaman

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 7:02 am

The closest to the truth [that is believable] would be that you were teaching her some Karate [Kung Fu, Akaido, Street fighting] so she could defend herself, if she has to, and you took the shot on purpose to see how well she was learning. Other logical excuses include something fell off a shelf, the lawn mower/snowblower kicked up a rock, you broke a bolt on the car and the wrench hit you, the only thing the mugger got was away, and just barely, the chain saw hit something and kicked back [lucky you only got a bruise].

stepdaddy · Post by **stepdaddy** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:46 pm

The best excuse for shiners is. I was on the pot squeezing off a load, I was slightly backed up and pushing with all my might. During the pushing I somehow forgot my breathing. Seems I was actually holding my breath. This caused me to pass out. On the way down off the crapper I hit my face on the door knob causing a shiner. Was happy to be alive, thought I was going out like Elvis. Who's gonna question that. Also prevents others from asking questions in the future.

SD

ratstuph · Post by **ratstuph** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:36 pm

I gotta go with SD here. The more graphic and potentially revolting the initial explanation, the less likely people are to ask for details. And you know how some people are; they just have to make a big thing about it every time a grown man gets his ass kicked by a ten-year-old girl.

The only thing you might consider is offering some "color commentary" regarding the texture and/or aroma of the offending load.
Rats...

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:09 pm

Yes BUT a Father willing to take a direct hit from his daughter [for her benifit] will make you sound like a hero, and leave others wondering if they could do the same. {It will also make her friends very unlikely to "pick on her" now they know what she can do.}!

J-man · Post by **J-man** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 9:08 pm

If were gonna talk MA's here, I'd have to recommend Judo the most.

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 10:24 pm

J-man wrote:If were gonna talk MA's here, I'd have to recommend Judo the most.

Street fighting [and enough brain cells to know when to run] have kept me alive long enough to become a "senior citizen".

Post by **Wally J. Corpse** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 12:20 am

Greetings, Mr. Missaman-

Merely offer to sell the information for a modest price, and no-one will ask any further.

Or, you could say that you've been practicing the ol'- "Knock yourself out", thingie, and that shiner's from the successful self-shot.

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

missaman · Post by **missaman** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 12:37 am

Mr William J. Corpse
I like your suggestion As well as Mr. Vagrent.
Letting all of karens friends see what she could do to them is not a bad idea

Wearing sunglasses to cover my shiner

Missaman

The Falcon · Post by **The Falcon** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 1:32 am

missaman,

Just admit that she got in a lucky first punch and that if the phone hadn't just rung, in another 5 mins. you probably would have whooped her.

Post by **Wally J. Corpse** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 4:18 pm

Greetings, Mr. Missaman-

Obviously you suffered additional brain damage from the melee, AS evidenced by your calling me 'William'. It's 'Wally', AS ever.

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

daddyloko · Post by **daddyloko** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 4:38 pm

missaman, just tell'em your not afraid to show your "sensative side".

Cooter · Post by **Cooter** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 5:29 pm

Tell 'em you poked yourself in the eye with a swizzle stick.

Teddy · Post by **Teddy** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 6:03 pm

Mr. Missaman,

I'm with Mr. Falcon on this one.... she'd sure get some "street cred" ...

Best wishes
Teddy

Straydog 5247 · Post by **Straydog 5247** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 8:17 pm

Mr. Missaman , Whatever you do , DON'T tell folks you walked into a door ! I did that

(twice) the "raggin'" never stops............